Navigating the Concrete Jungle: Coping with Dating Anxiety in New York City

If we close our eyes and picture the famous NYC, we think ice skating at Rockefeller center, pictures in front of the Empire State Building and of course the famous taxi cab hail during rush hour. Picture this: navigating the dating scene in New York City is like someone hailing that taxi cab. It’s competitive, it’s fast paced and of course, everyone acts like they know what they are doing. Dating in New York City can feel extremely overwhelming, anxiety-provoking and exhausting. Whether you are swiping through profiles, having the same “where are you from” conversation at a downtown bar or trying to tell if he’s really into it this time, dating is not easy. Let’s normalize that. 

Now more than ever dating in NYC is harder than it has ever been. People are experiencing burnout from dating apps, the finances of transportation to a date or picking up the bill at one, and of course, the emotional effect of being “ghosted” by what you thought was a successful date. If you relate to this, you are not alone! We can work together to navigate it. Here are some ways to cope with dating anxiety in the city. 

Take off some pressure: 

I know it’s easier said than done, but go into a date without the pressure on what the outcome will be. Instead of saying “Will this person be my soulmate?” Just have fun with it! There are so many fish in the sea and  you may not find the one on a dating app, but rather in person or other ways. Shifting your mindset from only focusing on the outcome to enjoying the journey truly allows for that anxiety release and for things to feel just a little bit lighter. 

It’s a Marathon not a Sprint:

Trying to schedule 3 dates in one week, on top of a work deadline, with laundry and returns piling up is a huge recipe for disaster. Give yourself space to breathe. Think about it: when your mind is worrying about a million other things, you won’t even be able to be present with your date. Setting a boundary, like limiting yourself to a certain amount of dates a week before burnout, all will help you build stamina in the long run. 

Mindfulness and Grounding before:

We all know that shaky, jittery feeling before a first date, exam, or performance. Try incorporating mindfulness techniques. Taking deep breaths, noticing your senses, and reminding yourself of your feet on the ground can all be helpful in reducing pre-date nerves. Through it all, you know your worth and your value, just show up as your authentic self and the rest will flow!

Set boundaries with the apps:

Burnout is REAL. Put your phone on do not disturb, allocate specific times for app usage, and delete and redownload when necessary. Don’t feel like you need to be utilizing the dating apps 24/7 or it won’t “work”. Set the boundary, allow yourself room for some space and come back to it when you are ready. 

Dating in New York City can be fun, adventurous, and a thrill, but it can also come with anxieties, burnout, and overwhelming feelings. You deserve connection, you deserve love, and you deserve to find someone who values you. By knowing your boundaries, giving some space and allowing yourself to truly show up as your authentic self will lead you to positive and fulfilling relationships.

THERAPY SERVICES FOR DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS WE OFFER IN MANHATTAN & BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

If the journey of being a happy, single person feels challenging, seeking professional support can be a valuable resource. Therapists are trained to help individuals navigate their emotions, explore personal goals, and develop strategies for finding fulfillment. Through therapy, you can gain insights into patterns of thinking and behavior, identify areas for growth and receive guidance on building a positive and meaningful life.

Our society often prioritizes romantic relationships, but learning how to be happy as a single person is a powerful and transformative journey. It’s a time for self-reflection, personal growth and the cultivation of genuine happiness that comes from within. By embracing solitude, practicing self-love, building meaningful connections and setting personal goals, you can navigate the single life with confidence. Remember that being single is not a state of lack but an opportunity for fulfillment. Embrace your journey, focus on your well-being and fall in love with yourself!

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OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK

We offer a diverse range of individual counseling services and couples therapy. Our dedicated therapists can help with stress management, symptoms of depression, self-esteem challenges, and college student counseling. Additionally, we specialize in offering support for addressing body image concerns, and navigating the unique challenges faced by women, among other aspects. If you need support, reach out to connect with a therapist.