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Unless you’re one of the lucky few, most people have experienced, or will experience, the sting of a breakup. Whether it ends unexpectedly over a text or amicably on a coffee date, the relationship is over. Now what? A breakup leaves you feeling alone, wondering how you’ll pick up the pieces and move on. Breaking up is hard, but it doesn’t have to leave you stuck.
Here are a few tips for getting through the post-breakup blues:
Let yourself experience every emotion without judgment
Breakups bring out various emotions. Maybe you’re in disbelief because you never imagined life without your ex. Perhaps you feel sad when you begin to accept that all the plans you had with your partner will never come to pass. You might feel bitter or resentful. Maybe you feel relieved that the relationship is over.
Whatever you feel, allow yourself to fully experience the waves of emotion that follow a breakup. Avoid judging yourself. If you feel sad for a week, express it. If you don’t feel bad at all, don’t guilt yourself over it.
Remember the good times (and the bad)
It’s common to replay the fun memories and special moments you shared with your ex. Reflecting on the good times soothes the emotional wounds of a breakup, but good times are only part of a memory. Avoid the rose-colored glasses. Remind yourself of the bad times too. There’s a reason why the relationship ended.
Think of all the things you disliked about your former partner. Remember the annoying, frustrating, unfair, unsatisfying things that happened during the relationship. Doing so paints a more realistic picture of the relationship, and helps you cope with the situation better.
Lean on your support system
Most people have experienced the emotional upheaval of a breakup and managed to move on from it. There’s a good chance that many people in your social circle relate to your experience. Even though you feel like curling up into a ball and retreating from the world, reach out to someone.
Talking with a friend who’s endured a similar experience is therapeutic in the aftermath of a breakup. Share stories of heartbreak and loss, and learn how others managed to move on from a breakup. You’ll feel validated by your support system, and you’ll slowly begin to heal from your loss.
Take care of yourself with self-reflection and self-care
It’s tempting to rush into a new relationship after a breakup, especially if you didn’t expect it. Despite feeling lonely, the period after a breakup is one of the best times to self-reflect. Take the opportunity to know yourself better by evaluating the relationship. What did you like about it? What bothered you? Honestly assess your needs and set new goals for yourself and your future relationships.
In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s important to practice self-care. Be gentle with your heart. Remember to sleep, eat, and exercise. Be kind by talking to yourself like you’d talk to a friend going through the same experience.
In the world of romance and dating, breakups are an inevitable part of having relationships. Though you can’t shield yourself from the pain of heartbreak, you can learn ways to cope with it better. Don’t fear the breakup blues. Use them to find your way to a stronger self and a more satisfying life.
