dating anxiety: breaking the cycle for good

Whether you are new to dating or a seasoned pro, you’re familiar with one universal aspect of the dating experience –  anxiety. Dating anxiety often kicks in when you first realize you’ve met a new potential partner and, if left unchecked, this anxiety can continue throughout the dating process. While anxiety can be a natural aspect of dating, by understanding the specific stages of the dating anxiety cycle and using certain tips, you can break free! 

Identifying the Dating Anxiety Cycle

The first step in breaking the cycle is learning to recognize it in your own dating experiences. See if the following stages sound familiar:

Initial Meet Up

Typically, the very first interactions you have with a new potential dating partner are filled with possibilities. The excitement of meeting a possible mate often leaves you feeling calm and enthusiastic about sharing your authentic self with another person. Because you have not yet committed yourself to this as a dating experience, you approach the interactions with no expectations and with an open heart and mind. 

Dating Anxiety Sets In

Just when you decide that this person is a real romantic possibility, your enthusiasm turns to worry:  what if they don’t feel the butterflies too? Anxiety begins to take hold at this point as you enter a heightened state of awareness, watching for any signs that tell you they may or may not be falling for you.

Safety Behaviors

As the relationship progresses, you may seek to reassure yourself of your dating partner’s commitment. In order to reduce this anxiety, you find yourself checking in on them by digging through their social media or taking a quick glance through their phone when they leave the room.

Relationship Impact

Unfortunately, these behaviors have a negative impact on the health of the relationship: partners become stressed, conflicts erupt, and relational communication breaks down.

The Chase

As your dating partner begins to withdraw from the pressure and conflict, an anxiety-induced chase begins. The more they pull away, the more you seek reassurance from them.

Breaking Up

Ultimately, this cycle results in a complete breakdown of the relationship. The tension and resentment that have built up inevitably cause the relationship to come crashing to an end.

Breaking the Dating Anxiety Cycle

When left unattended, this dating anxiety cycle wreaks havoc on what could otherwise be a fulfilling long-term relationship. However, by using some simple strategies, you can put an end to this vicious pattern.

1. As soon as you begin dating someone new, set aside specific time for regular self-reflection. Are you experiencing butterflies or is this anxiety? If it is anxiety, where are you in the dating anxiety cycle?
2. Keep a journal specifically focused on your feelings about dating and relationships. You can reduce your anxiety by writing down your feelings about dating as they arise.
3. Focus on regular, authentic communication with your partner about how you are feeling. Communicating concerns as they come up can help prevent them from growing into feelings of suspicion and full-fledged panic.
4. If you find that your anxiety does not reduce with reflection, journaling, and open communication, implement general anxiety reduction strategies such as exercise, mindfulness, and positive self-talk exercises.

Breaking the dating anxiety cycle can be your first step towards opening the door to long-term relationship success!

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Our society often prioritizes romantic relationships, but learning how to be happy as a single person is a powerful and transformative journey. It’s a time for self-reflection, personal growth and the cultivation of genuine happiness that comes from within. By embracing solitude, practicing self-love, building meaningful connections and setting personal goals, you can navigate the single life with confidence. Remember that being single is not a state of lack but an opportunity for fulfillment. Embrace your journey, focus on your well-being and fall in love with yourself!

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