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It can be difficult to maintain an open mind while dating someone new. This is a common mistake we often make when we meet people. We all tend to imagine how they could be better, but fail to embrace the reality of who they currently are.
Don’t get me wrong: there can absolutely be someone out there for everyone and it’s important to see potential in every relationship you pursue. However, it will only weigh your current situation down if you’re not seeing things clearly from the start.
Every relationship is unique, but there are some general rules that can help guide you in your pursuit of love:
Allow people to be who they are and don’t try to change them.
Some people are working on themselves, but that doesn’t mean they’re ready or willing to share everything with someone at the beginning stages of a relationship.
It’s important to allow people time and space for personal growth if it truly matters to them. Don’t take their efforts in your relationship for granted, but also don’t force them to grow before they’re ready.
Don’t box yourself into a mold either.
It’s also important to be mindful of how you present yourself in your relationships. We all have an ideal version of ourselves we would like to be and it can be difficult to let go of this fantasy when someone is interested in us.
It’s important to be true to yourself and remember that you don’t have a certain type. People may not fit the ideal mold of the person you imagined yourself with, but that doesn’t mean they’re not right for you.
However, stay true to your personal values and never compromise them for someone else.
It can be easy to lose yourself in the beginning stages of a new relationship, but you should never feel forced into changing for someone else. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but it can be helpful to step back and take things slowly.
Be mindful of how the person actually shows up in the relationship by observing their behavior.
If you’re falling for someone based on their potential alone, then chances are they won’t live up to your expectations when reality unfolds in front of you.
The bottom line is that you need to be aware of how the person shows up in your relationship and compare this reality with what they’ve said or promised.
If there are discrepancies between these two, then it’s time to reevaluate whether or not this person will actually make a good partner for you. It can sometimes take some time to see these incongruencies, but it’s important to be aware of them from the start.
Final Thoughts
It’s important to be honest with yourself when you’re looking for love. This means asking yourself if you’re truly able to accept the person for who they are, and not what potential future you imagine for them.
It’s important to follow your heart and intuition and remember: love is rarely a smooth ride, but it brings with it some of the greatest joys we experience as humans.
