how to challenge your all or nothing mindset

An “all or nothing” mindset is a form of limited, distorted thinking. It’s a mindset of absolutes, where you feel like you either pass or fail every interaction with others or every choice you make. The problem with this mindset, however, is that thinking in all or nothing terms limits your ability to see everything else that happens in between your perceived failure and the reality of the situation. For instance, if you recognize that you misworded your thoughts during a conversation, you might worry that the other person completely misunderstood your intentions or developed negative thoughts about you; in reality, it could have been a constructive dialogue in which you failed to recognize all of the positive aspects.

As an absolute, all or nothing thinker, your attitude may be preventing you from tackling new challenges or setting higher goals for yourself. If you feel like you can’t do something perfectly, any obstacle is an excuse to avoid setting new goals at all.

This all or nothing thinking is an extreme way of viewing life, and a healthy goal may be to find ways to challenge this mindset.

Eliminate Absolute Words and Thoughts

Repeatedly thinking that you must “always” do something a certain way sets you up for feeling like you have failed if you deviate from the predictable or expected path. This isn’t necessarily true, and it is okay for you to change course. If you always say you “cannot” or “never” do something that you want to do, ask yourself why. You may fail at something if you don’t try at all, but you’re not automatically a failure for not doing something perfectly. Try to eliminate these absolute words from your spoken vocabulary first, and then slowly try to eliminate them from your current thoughts. 

Look for Gray Areas in Difficult Situations

If you think there is only one possible outcome, and not achieving it is failure, slow down for a moment and regroup. Think about how others act in similar situations. You can even consider asking outsiders how they view the situation. Looking for alternative outcomes allows you to expand your mindset a little at a time.

Accept Your Mistakes

We are human, and mistakes happen. Sometimes we make poor choices, we misspeak, or we don’t meet an important goal. Instead of viewing a mistake as an automatic failure, focus on how it can help you grow. Look at mistakes as an opportunity to learn new ways to make choices or set realistic and worthy goals for yourself.

Find Someone to Talk To

If you feel trapped by your all or nothing mindset, find someone with whom you can speak. This can be a trusted friend, a mentor or a therapist. Your goal is simply to find a safe space to talk and work through your concerns without judgment or fear.

FIGURE OUT WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU WITH THERAPY FOR WOMEN IN MANHATTAN & BROOKLYN

The truth is, there’s no single or one-size-fits-all definition of success. Everyone has a different idea of what they want their life to look like. That is why it’s important to get clear on what that looks like for you. Once you have a better understanding of yourself and your values, you can start designing your life based on the things that are most important to you. 

Therapy for women in Manhattan and Brooklyn is a great way to figure out what success looks like for you. At Manhattan Wellness, we will provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and goals. So you can find clarity on what you want for yourself. We will pair your vulnerability with our empathy and encouragement. Then together we will uncover the key elements that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be. If you are ready to make the changes you want in your life:

1. Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
2. Learn More About Our Team of Female Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
3. Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Feel Empowered & Ready To Take The Next Step. 

We believe that you have the power within yourself to make the changes you want and find your version of success. Our female therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey. Allowing you to reclaim your identity and take control of your life. Thus allowing you to create the future you’ve been dreaming of.

OTHER THERAPY SERVICES AT MANHATTAN WELLNESS IN NEW YORK

At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Therapy for Maternal Mental Health, Self-Esteem Counseling, and Anxiety Treatment. Along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about.