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You’re fresh out of a bad relationship and ready to be your own person again. But, then we meet someone at the grocery store or a night out on the town. It seems like the perfect connection, but a few months down the road, we find ourselves right back in the same situation we had just gotten ourselves out of. It seems like it keeps happening over and over again, but why?
How to stop falling for the wrong people
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Falling into the same dating patterns happens to more people than you may think. There are some common things to pay attention to in new relationships to help get you out of the same negative relationship pattern.
1. Don’t ignore their actions
It’s easy to write off the not-so-great things that people do when we really like them. However, this is a big reason why we keep falling for the wrong people. If you notice that their actions and words aren’t lining up, or you’re constantly having to make excuses on their behalf, you may be falling into old patterns.
2. Don’t make assumptions
One good way to fall back into old patterns is to assume the seriousness of your relationship. Sometimes when we want to avoid feeling vulnerable, we just assume they feel the same way as us and that they’re exclusive just like us. However, without explicitly sharing those feelings, you can never be too sure!
3. Don’t get ahead of yourself
Sometimes we focus a little bit too much on the other persons potential and not what’s right in front of us. It can be easy to skip steps and think about how great it would be to get married and start a family, but we end up missing out on getting to know them and enjoying the present moment with them.
More ways that you can avoid falling into old habits include:
- Put a list together of your non-negotiables and things that you need in your relationships to refer back to in future relationships
- Pay attention to how you feel when you’re with your current love interest
- Pay attention to how you feel when you’re away from your current love interest
- Set boundaries in your relationships and pay attention to how those boundaries are being received
- Focus on being secure with yourself
- Pay attention to your own negative behavior in relationships
Focusing on these things in potential new relationships can help you identify early on when you’re not in the right one. This can save you from getting too attached too quickly to the wrong people and feeling like you’re stuck in a cycle of bad relationships!
