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After a year of taking a break from dating, hoping for signs that the world would return to “normal” so we could head back to our favorite bar or yoga class, telling ourselves that after such a long time we would finally have the courage to ask our secret crush on a first date, we’re starting to come to terms with the idea that things might not go back to life as we knew it. For better or worse, the world has adapted to new problems with new strategies, and the dating world is no exception.
1. Starting Fresh
Online dating is intimidating, especially for those of us who are used to starting a conversation in a comfortable place that gives us a small-but-powerful confidence boost. Adapting to the world of online dating means starting fresh, something that many of us are looking forward to in this year. In dating terms, this means downloading a few apps you’re interested in, and allowing yourself to make a few mistakes as you learn how the app works. After all, we’ve all got a few embarrassing stories from when we were learning the “natural, organic” way of pursuing relationships, even if we’d like to pretend they never happened.
2. Investing in What You Want
Choosing to try out online dating means allowing yourself to be honest about what you want. We all love the safety that comes with meeting someone randomly at a party, and being able to act “casual”, or even uninterested. Truthfully, many of us are so fearful of appearing “desperate”, we would rather come across as cold or rude. Rather than worrying about what others might think about online dating, focus on what your goals and expectations are. Whether you’re looking for a casual relationship or a long-term partnership, judgement and character assessment is usually part of the process, but you don’t have to include others opinions in the process.
3. Taking it Slow
Finally, as we enter the world of online dating, the most important thing is to take it slow and trust the process. Just like therapy, it takes time and experience to find a person and process that works for you. Don’t allow any confusing conversations or bumps along the way deter you from giving the app your best shot. Talking with more experienced friends can help us find the right dating app for what we’re looking for, but in the end, it’s up to us to decide what is working and what isn’t working. You might find that what you thought you wanted is completely different from what you actually want, after you’ve given yourself a chance to be honest. Dating is about taking risks until you find the right opportunity, so don’t discourage if it takes multiple tries!
