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The never-ending search for fulfillment, you just have to get that promotion, that new dress, or that degree to finally and completely be: enough. Which leads to the questions: What is enough? Who declares what is enough? And am I enough? The good news is, that this form of measurement is fully subjective and can therefore be shaped to one’s individual perspective. The bad news is, that we are often not as kind to ourselves as we are to others.
What is enough?
Think about a friend, family member, or even an acquaintance. Consider the expectations that you have of them as a person and if you would deem them to be “enough” or not. Often our expectations of ourselves are so exaggerated, that we only realize the fallacy in our thoughts when we apply them to others. Having expectations doesn’t have to be detrimental, but if we are constantly reaching for the next goal, before appreciating what we have achieved, it can result in a feeling of inadequacy and sometimes even failure. Take time to clearly think about what makes you “enough” and why, assess if this seems to be realistic or healthy.
Growth mindset vs a fixed mindset
A fixed mindset implies that one has very fixed ideas of the world, themselves, and who they should be. This can perhaps be beneficial to visualize a goal, achieve it, and move on to the next one. What happens when all doesn’t go according to plan? The individual with the fixed mindset often gives up or chooses tasks that they know they can succeed in, to avoid potential failure and having the feeling of not being enough. It’s a simple defensive mechanism to avoid a negative emotion. However, in avoiding the possibility of the feeling of inadequacy, one denies themselves growth.
A growth mindset means that one can learn from the setbacks that life will inevitably provide. This mentality allows you to focus on learning from experiences and yourself, rather than focusing on what you can’t do. This enables your mind to focus on the appreciation of your strengths and capabilities and to be mindful of your achievements. Being able to appreciate what you can, have, and will do will lead to much more productivity for accomplishing future goals.
Am I enough?
Being enough doesn’t mean, that one is perfect and has no further need for improvement. It simply means, that you have the mindfulness to fully appreciate the spectrum of your abilities and gain energy out of this process, rather than depleting yourself of confidence. The inner dialogue of not being enough will only create a tunnel vision, that inhibits the ability to progress. You are in charge of your definition, you are in charge of your growth, and you are so much more than enough.
