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mw editorial

overcoming the curse of self-sabotage

May 20, 2021

You’ve undoubtedly heard the saying, “you are your own worst enemy.” It’s a statement repeated so frequently that it’s become a cliche. For self-saboteurs, it’s an all-too-real truth that is difficult to overcome. What are the signs of self-sabotage? What is the cause of it? And how can you overcome yourself to live your best life?

Signs of Self-Sabotage

It begins innocently. Perhaps you just had a great couple of dates with a new person. Maybe you heard of an exciting job opportunity or an endeavor that you’d like to try. The self-sabotaging process begins with a positive, exciting thing that fills us with promise and hope.

Then, the voice comes. An inner voice asks us questions like, “who do you think you are to want this?” “Do you deserve this?” It fills us with doubt. The voice commands us, telling us that we’re not worthy of good things.

As a result of this harmful self-talk, we sabotage the good things in our lives. We end the relationship. We decline the job offer or skip the interview entirely. We say and do everything we can to keep ourselves from achieving what we want in life.

This is self-sabotage. But what is underneath it?

The Roots of Self-Sabotage

The foundation of self-sabotage is an internalized belief that we do not deserve good things in our lives. Self-saboteurs believe that they are not worthy of love, success, good fortune, abundance, connection, joy, and happiness.

When there is an opportunity for a person to experience those fulfilling and lovely things, the self-saboteur faces a conflict. They can’t allow themselves to experience something they believe they shouldn’t have, so the sabotaging process begins. It’s a miserable cycle that keeps people unhappy and confused. Fortunately, it’s possible to overcome these tendencies!

Overcoming Self-Sabotage

The first step towards moving past self-sabotage begins with positive self-talk. It’s as simple as this statement: I am worthy of all good things in life. I will do all I can to cultivate positivity and joy in my life.

Practice reciting that affirmation to instill a sense of worthiness. Worthiness will deter any self-sabotaging thoughts you will have. Lower the volume of that negative inner voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Recognize that it’s just one voice, and there is a mightier one that tells you how worthy you are.

Be gentle with yourself. You will probably still feel like sabotaging your efforts and your opportunities at times. This is okay. Breathe through it. Remember that these are only thoughts. They will pass. Then do what your spirit wants you to do, which is enjoy all the beautiful things life has to offer.

Practice gratitude for the process. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Over time, with devotion to these practices, you will build a sense of self-worthiness that no amount of sabotaging thoughts can break down.

There is hope for a self-saboteur. With a commitment to overcome it, self-sabotage doesn’t have to ruin your life. Let yourself move past it and enjoy the great opportunities that come your way.

THERAPY SERVICES FOR ANXIETY WE OFFER IN MANHATTAN & BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

The truth is, there’s no single or one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety treatment. Everyone has a different approach to managing anxiety and anxious thoughts. That is why it’s important to get clear on what works for you. Once you have a better understanding of yourself and your values, you can start designing your life based on the things that are most important to you. 

Therapy for women in Manhattan and Brooklyn is a great way to figure out how to manage your anxious mind. At Manhattan Wellness, we will provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and goals. So you can find clarity on what you want for yourself. We will pair your vulnerability with our empathy and encouragement. Then together we will uncover the key elements that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be. If you are ready to make the changes you want in your life:

  1. Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
  2. Learn More About Our Team of Female Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
  3. Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Feel Empowered & Ready To Take The Next Step. 

We believe that you have the power within yourself to make the changes you want and find your version of success. Our female therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey. Allowing you to reclaim your identity and take control of your life. Thus allowing you to create the future you’ve been dreaming of.

OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK

At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Therapy for Maternal Mental Health, Self-Esteem Counseling, and Anxiety Treatment. Along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it. 

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