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May 20, 2021
You’ve undoubtedly heard the saying, “you are your own worst enemy.” It’s a statement repeated so frequently that it’s become a cliche. For self-saboteurs, it’s an all-too-real truth that is difficult to overcome. What are the signs of self-sabotage? What is the cause of it? And how can you overcome yourself to live your best life?
It begins innocently. Perhaps you just had a great couple of dates with a new person. Maybe you heard of an exciting job opportunity or an endeavor that you’d like to try. The self-sabotaging process begins with a positive, exciting thing that fills us with promise and hope.
Then, the voice comes. An inner voice asks us questions like, “who do you think you are to want this?” “Do you deserve this?” It fills us with doubt. The voice commands us, telling us that we’re not worthy of good things.
As a result of this harmful self-talk, we sabotage the good things in our lives. We end the relationship. We decline the job offer or skip the interview entirely. We say and do everything we can to keep ourselves from achieving what we want in life.
This is self-sabotage. But what is underneath it?
The foundation of self-sabotage is an internalized belief that we do not deserve good things in our lives. Self-saboteurs believe that they are not worthy of love, success, good fortune, abundance, connection, joy, and happiness.
When there is an opportunity for a person to experience those fulfilling and lovely things, the self-saboteur faces a conflict. They can’t allow themselves to experience something they believe they shouldn’t have, so the sabotaging process begins. It’s a miserable cycle that keeps people unhappy and confused. Fortunately, it’s possible to overcome these tendencies!
The first step towards moving past self-sabotage begins with positive self-talk. It’s as simple as this statement: I am worthy of all good things in life. I will do all I can to cultivate positivity and joy in my life.
Practice reciting that affirmation to instill a sense of worthiness. Worthiness will deter any self-sabotaging thoughts you will have. Lower the volume of that negative inner voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Recognize that it’s just one voice, and there is a mightier one that tells you how worthy you are.
Be gentle with yourself. You will probably still feel like sabotaging your efforts and your opportunities at times. This is okay. Breathe through it. Remember that these are only thoughts. They will pass. Then do what your spirit wants you to do, which is enjoy all the beautiful things life has to offer.
Practice gratitude for the process. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Over time, with devotion to these practices, you will build a sense of self-worthiness that no amount of sabotaging thoughts can break down.
There is hope for a self-saboteur. With a commitment to overcome it, self-sabotage doesn’t have to ruin your life. Let yourself move past it and enjoy the great opportunities that come your way.
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