How to Minimize your Inner Critic

PAUSE…….

Before you read further, stop and notice of what you are thinking in the moment. Is it something positive or something negative?

From the time we wake up until we fall asleep at night, our thoughts run wild.

Research conducted by psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D. shows that our brains are hardwired to focus on negative things and ignore good ones. It’s called the “negativity bias”. In fact, 70-80% of the thoughts we think each day may be negative.

Thoughts occur randomly, and it seems like we can’t control them. However, you do have the power to take control of your mind and turn many of those negative thoughts into positive ones.

What you say to yourself matters. It may even be the most important factor in how happy, fulfilled, and successful you are during this lifetime.

Self-esteem refers to how confident you are in your abilities and how well you think about yourself.

Your level of self-esteem determines how well you cope with difficulties, how resilient you are, what opportunities or risks you choose to embark on, the health of your relationships, your level of mental health, and even the health of your physical body.

If you work to raise your self-esteem, you will change your entire life – for the better.

But how do you do that?

The best way to turn that negative inner critic of yours into a positive and supportive advocate is by taking notice of your thoughts and consciously changing them into something positive.

Cognitive distortions are tricks your mind plays to get you to believe things that aren’t true. When you have a negative thought, such as, “Nothing ever goes my way”, your brain uses these tricks to convince you that it’s true, even if it’s not.

For example, one form of cognitive distortion is overgeneralization. You take one incident and assume that it applies to all situations, now and forever. Another one is called “filtering” because you look at a situation, filter out all the positive aspects and focus on the negative ones instead.

If you remind yourself throughout the day to start noticing when that inner critic is spouting off those negative thoughts, you can catch yourself.  And if you take the time to consider the cognitive distortions you’re using to convince yourself that it’s true, you can put a stop to it.

Tips from Science to Help Tame Your Inner Critic

Scientists have studied the effects that negative self-talk has on both physical and mental health. Our thoughts are quite powerful. Here are some tips you can implement today to help turn that inner critic into an inner advocate.

1.      Use the Third Person

Psychologist Ethan Kross did experiments to determine how self-talk influences your behavior, and he discovered that referring to yourself in the third-person has many benefits that work together to raise your self-esteem.

For example, instead of telling yourself “I should make that phone call”, say “Mary, you should make that phone call”.

Referring to yourself in the third person creates an emotional distance. You will be more rational, observe more clearly, and treat yourself more kindly. You will also gain focus, enhance self-control, ruminate less once an event is over, and increase your chances of successfully completing activities.

2.      Use Positive Affirmations

Using affirmations might seem like a bunch of New-Age nonsense, but science shows that it does help. Psychologist Clayton Critcher at the University of California Berkley found that using positive affirmations (e.g., “I am strong and capable”) cushions us from negative criticism. Affirmations also empower us to stand up to outside threats, as well as persevere during difficult situations.

3.      Use Instructional Self Talk

Using instructions to talk yourself through a situation has been shown to increase self-confidence and reduce anxiety, as well as improve your technique when you complete a task. For example, say, “Ok, first grab that handle. Then….”

In conclusion, you can raise your self-esteem if you start to notice that inner critic and gently work to turn it into a positive supporter instead.

Negative self-talk happens, so don’t fight it. If you focus on it, it will persist. Instead, gently notice it, choose a more positive thought, and just let the negative ones pass through.

THERAPY SERVICES FOR ANXIETY WE OFFER IN MANHATTAN & BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

The truth is, there’s no single or one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety treatment. Everyone has a different approach to managing anxiety and anxious thoughts. That is why it’s important to get clear on what works for you. Once you have a better understanding of yourself and your values, you can start designing your life based on the things that are most important to you. 

Therapy for women in Manhattan and Brooklyn is a great way to figure out how to manage your anxious mind. At Manhattan Wellness, we will provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and goals. So you can find clarity on what you want for yourself. We will pair your vulnerability with our empathy and encouragement. Then together we will uncover the key elements that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be. If you are ready to make the changes you want in your life:

1. Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
2. Learn More About Our Team of Female Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
3. Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Feel Empowered & Ready To Take The Next Step. 

We believe that you have the power within yourself to make the changes you want and find your version of success. Our female therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey. Allowing you to reclaim your identity and take control of your life. Thus allowing you to create the future you’ve been dreaming of.

OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK

At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Therapy for Maternal Mental Health, Self-Esteem Counseling, and Anxiety Treatment. Along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it.