Being a mom is hard. When holidays are added to the already endless responsibilities of caring for a newborn, it gets harder. For new moms or first-time moms – if you’re feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, know that you’re not alone. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. It might be the last thing on your mind right now, and it’s okay if you’re not feeling the holiday spirit. Your feelings are incredibly valid.
Between adjusting to life with a newborn and navigating the demands of the holidays, it’s easy to feel like you’re being pulled in every direction: family, in-laws, large gatherings, gift giving, hosting duties, traveling with-child. You might feel pressured to carry out longstanding traditions, or maybe you’re worried about starting your own traditions for your new family unit.
We’re here to remind you that you don’t have to do it all. As a new mom, learning how to let go of unrealistic expectations is essential for maintaining your well-being and enjoying the holidays in a way that feels authentic to you. A lot of work goes into parenting in the first year of postpartum. For moms, much of this work goes unseen: between scheduling, nursing and feeding, ordering supplies, coordinating care, and simply carrying the mental load, the responsibilities mom carry can add up to the equivalent of working an entire extra job. We see you, Mammas, and we’re here for you. Here’s how to manage those holiday expectations and prioritize your needs during this busy time of year.
- Embrace the New Normal. First thing’s first: let’s acknowledge that your holiday season will look different this year. As a new mom, it’s important to adjust your expectations of what the holidays should be. Your priorities have shifted, and that’s a beautiful thing. The days of staying up late wrapping presents, hosting large gatherings, and attending every party are behind you – at least for now. It’s okay if you don’t decorate the entire house or send out holiday cards this year. Your focus can be on your little one, your health, and maintaining some level of holiday cheer, even if it’s in a more relaxed way.
- Set Realistic Expectations. One of the biggest challenges new moms face during the holidays is the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations – cooking, cleaning, shopping, and trying to visit every relative who wants to see your baby. This can feel impossible when you’re juggling a newborn’s needs and your own needs. Instead of striving for perfection, set realistic expectations. It’s okay if things don’t go as planned. If you’re hosting, simplify the menu or ask for help. If gift-giving feels too much, scale back or opt for simple presents. And if you can’t attend every party, that’s fine. Lowering expectations helps reduce pressure and lets you enjoy the quieter moments of the season.
- Say No (And Feel Good About It). As a new mom, you may feel obligated to attend every family event, make time for friends, and help out in all the ways you have in prior years. But, the reality is that you simply can’t do it all. Learning how to say no is crucial to maintaining your mental health during this busy season.
Saying no doesn’t mean you’re rejecting family or friends. It means you’re protecting your well-being. You’re going to be juggling your schedule and your baby’s schedule. It’s okay if those schedules conflict with larger family gatherings. It’s also okay if you just need a break. When you say no, you’re giving yourself the space to recharge. Take some time for yourself so that when you are able to show up, you can be present and more rested. Saying no is not only acceptable, it’s necessary to preserve your energy and mental health.
- Prioritize Self-Care. Self-care is always important, but as a new mom, it’s especially vital. The demands of motherhood can be physically and emotionally draining, and it’s easy to put your own needs last. Take steps to prioritize your well-being during this hectic time. This might mean scheduling some alone time (even if it’s just 15 minutes to sit quietly in a room), asking for help from your partner or family members so you can get some sleep, or indulging in a bath or quiet walk. You deserve moments of peace and relaxation to recharge. When you prioritize self-care, you’ll be better able to handle the stress of the holidays and care for your baby with more patience and love. Remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup, so make time for yourself even if it’s just a little each day
- Don’t Compare Your Holiday to Others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your holiday experience to that of others. Whether it’s perfectly curated photos being shared to a group text thread, or holiday setups being boasted on social media, remember that what’s captured and shared on social media is often a highlight reel, not the full picture. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to match the idealized holiday experience you see online. Focus on your own family and what feels right for you. What matters most is creating a meaningful, joyful experience for your new family, not adhering to someone else’s standards.
- Communicate Often with Your Partner. Motherhood comes with unexpected highs and lows. It’s essential to check in regularly with your partner to make sure you’re both on the same page. The added responsibilities of caring for a newborn, managing holiday tasks, and attending family events can quickly become overwhelming. Have open conversations about your mental health, the extra stress you’re both under, and how you can share the load. Discuss what events or commitments are important to you both, and set boundaries together on what you’re willing (and not willing) to take on. By aligning on expectations and responsibilities, you can support each other and ensure that neither of you feels overwhelmed or isolated. Teamwork and communication are key to making the holiday season feel manageable and enjoyable for both of you.
Your well-being is just as important as anyone else’s, and by setting boundaries and simplifying your commitments, you’ll be able to enjoy the season with your little one without feeling overwhelmed. The best gift you can give yourself is the freedom to let go of unnecessary expectations and make the most of this special time in your life.
Ready to let go of expectations, set boundaries and have a stress-free holiday season?
- Contact Manhattan Wellness or email us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Schedule your first appointment with one of our amazing therapists who get it.
- Invest in yourself so you can enjoy what the holiday season brings!
FIND CONFIDENCE AND NURTURE YOUR MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH IN MANHATTAN, BROOKLYN, OR NEW YORK DURING THE FOURTH TRIMESTER
At Manhattan Wellness, we understand that the fourth trimester is a time of transition and adjustment. From adjusting to your new identity as a mom to navigating infant and postpartum care, it can be an overwhelming process. One that no one prepared you for. That’s why our female therapists want to support you in prioritizing your maternal mental health during the fourth trimester. Let us help you take care of yourself so you can feel confident in your new role as a mom. If you are interested in therapy for your maternal mental health:
- Prioritize Your Maternal Mental Health and Embrace the Fourth Trimester!
- Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Learn More About Our Team and Our Areas of Expertise
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES AT MANHATTAN WELLNESS IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER, BROOKLYN & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK
Our therapists understand that with becoming a new mother, there can be a variety of different needs that arise. Apart from helping you navigate the fourth trimester and maternal mental health, our therapists also offer a variety of services to cater to your individual needs. The therapy services we offer are Anxiety Treatment, Therapy for Depression, Stress Management, and Therapy for Women. As well as Therapy for Self-Esteem, support for, body image therapy, and so much more. Do you feel like you’re not living the life you want and need to make changes? Let’s talk about it.
