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5 questions to ask yourself to make sure you are making your goals for *you*

July 6, 2021

Every day, we are bombarded with headlines, advertisements, and influencers telling us what we should believe, what we should buy, and what we should be doing to be “our best selves.” It is incredibly hard to take a step back and ask yourself, “Are these goals for me, or are they for someone else?” Here are 5 questions you should ask yourself to make sure you are making your goals for you and not for anyone else:

“What was the event that first made me want to set this goal?”

Often times it’s an event in our lives that makes us set a goal. Whether it is an argument with a friend or loved one, a loss, or simply the coming of the new year, identifying the goal-setting event is an important part of deciding if the goal is for yourself or not.

“Was the goal inspired by another person?”

The key word in that sentence is “inspired.” It is definitely a positive thing if you set a goal that is inspired by another person, but you need to make sure that you aren’t trying to copy that person and be someone that you’re not. If it turns from inspiration to copying, that is when you’ll know the goal is for someone else and not for yourself.

“Do I feel guilted into this goal?”

It is not anyone else’s place to point out places in your life where you can improve. That decision is yours alone to make! If your goal comes exclusively from a judgmental comment from someone else, this means that this goal is coming from guilt.

“Is this goal to make me better, or is to please someone else?”

You should set goals to help yourself improve, not to impress or please other people. If you find yourself thinking of a specific person that this goal would impress, this means that the goal is not for you.

“Is this goal something I really want to work at, or is it something that society says that I should have?”

Again, this is where headlines, ads, and influencers come into play. If you can identify a specific societal expectation that you are basing your goals off of, this means that those goals aren’t ones that you are making for you. Only make goals based on what you know that you need for yourself!

Decide today to set goals to make yourself better and happier, not to make other people happier!


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