When you make the decision to marry someone, you also marry their family. But what do you do if this actually becomes a source of tension and stress, rather than support?
In-laws are always a sticky topic, especially trying to navigate this relationship. There is bound to be emotional strain for couples, no matter what stage of the relationship or marriage you are in. You are not alone. You can protect your peace, and your relationship.
Why do in-laws always cause stress and problems?
It does not always mean your partner’s family is bad or toxic. Sometimes, values and personalities can clash. Other reasons may be lack of boundaries, loyalty conflicts, and different family dynamics. There are a multitude of different roots. Or your in-laws just may be straight up rude.
It is important to set boundaries early. This is what is needed to maintain a healthy relationship. It may be uncomfortable at first. It may take time to say things like “we appreciate your opinion, but we are going to make this decision on your own”. This is a tough shift, because you may be shifting from listening to parents, to consulting with your partner. Being proactive about this can be very helpful.
It is a common misconception that partners should handle in-law issues separately. But this can lead to confusion between you and your partner. Unity is so important. It is important to discuss these concerns privately with your partner first, and decide what boundaries are necessary. It is also very important to support one another in front of family. In-laws are less likely to try and override one of you if they see you and your partner are on the same page.
Do not try to fix them.
The more you argue, the worse it gets. Try focusing on controlling your response, rather than controlling their actions. Some things that can be helpful to ask yourself can be “How can I keep my peace without causing or engaging in conflict? Do I let this go or make a boundary? It is in your power how you respond, not how they do.
Stress within laws can affect your daily mood and self-esteem. Protecting your peace is so important.
Some things you can do to maintain your peace could be to take some breaks after challenging interactions. Spend time with people that support your relationships. Also, don’t be afraid to limit contact temporarily. Maybe start to practice journaling, or a stress-reducing activity.
It is normal to see therapy or outside support. Especially a neutral third party. Going to couples therapy is not just for the crisis in your relationship. It can be so helpful to navigate stressors.
It does not make you a bad person, or a bad partner when dealing with difficult in-laws. It is normal! Any relationship that involves an extended family can be complicated. With respect and boundaries, this does not have to ruin your peace and your relationship. You and your partner are a team.
At Manhattan Wellness, we’re here to help! Follow the steps below to get started:
- Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Learn More About Our Team of Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
- Let’s Talk About How We Can Help Your Relationship
THERAPY SERVICES FOR COUPLES WE OFFER IN MANHATTAN & BROOKLYN, NEW YORK
If your relationship could use some extra support, our team of trained couples therapists are here to help. We understand that every relationship is different and at times can be a bit complicated to navigate on your own. Do you find you and your partner having the same disagreements over and over? Are you and your partner having difficulty communicating effectively? Our therapists are here to guide you and your partner to develop strategies for finding fulfillment in the life you are building together. Through therapy, you can gain insights into patterns of thinking and behavior, identify areas for growth and receive guidance on building a positive and meaningful life together.
- Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Learn More About Our Team of Female Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
- Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Feel Empowered & Ready To Take The Next Step.
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK
At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating life. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Therapy for Maternal Mental Health, Self-Esteem Counseling, and Anxiety Treatment. Along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students,and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it.
