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Values and relationships – it’s more than just liking someone

March 12, 2024

Couple standing in front of a sun set in Manhattan. Values do matter in a relationship. Make sure yours aligns with your partner today.

Values are fundamental beliefs and principles that guide a person’s behavior, decisions, and attitudes. They represent what is important to you and serve as a moral compass that influences how you interact with the world and make choices in various aspects of life. Values can be deeply held convictions that help define a person’s character and shape their identity, guiding how we function in our relationships.

Values are:

1. Personal and Individual

Values are highly personal and vary from person to person. They are shaped by a combination of factors, including upbringing, culture, religion, personal experiences, and personal reflection. As a result, what one person values may differ from what another person values.

Brooklyn couple sitting in a field of grass, happy and laughing with each other because their values align.

2. Core Beliefs

Values are often considered core beliefs because they reflect what individuals consider to be essential, meaningful, and non-negotiable in their lives. They are the principles that people are willing to stand by and uphold, even when faced with challenges or difficult decisions.

3. Guiding Principles

Values act as guiding principles that inform decision-making. When individuals are aligned with their values, they tend to make choices that resonate with their beliefs and bring them a sense of fulfillment and authenticity.

4. Stability and Consistency

Values are relatively stable over time and provide a sense of consistency in a person’s life. They influence not only major life decisions but also everyday actions and interactions.

Man kissing forehead of his partner on top of a cliff overlooking a valley. Relationships must be consistent and based on values. It's more than just liking someone.

5. Influence on Behavior

Values have a significant impact on behavior, influencing how people prioritize their time, relationships, and resources. For example, if someone values honesty and integrity, they are more likely to act truthfully and ethically in various situations.

6. Conflict Resolution

Values can play a role in resolving conflicts. When individuals have conflicting values, it can lead to disagreements and tension. Effective conflict resolution often involves finding common ground or respecting each other’s values.

7. Cultural and Social Context

Values can be influenced by cultural and societal norms. In some cases, individuals may adopt certain values due to the expectations of their culture or social group. However, personal values can also evolve independently of cultural influences.

Brooklyn couple eating ice cream together, having fun and bonding over cultural similarities.

It’s important to note that people may prioritize their values differently, and individual values can evolve or change over time as a person’s life circumstances and experiences change. Understanding and clarifying your own values can help you make decisions that are more aligned with your authentic self and lead to a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.


If the journey of being a happy, single person feels challenging, seeking professional support can be a valuable resource. Therapists are trained to help individuals navigate their emotions, explore personal goals, and develop strategies for finding fulfillment. Through therapy, you can gain insights into patterns of thinking and behavior, identify areas for growth and receive guidance on building a positive and meaningful life.

Our society often prioritizes romantic relationships, but learning how to be happy as a single person is a powerful and transformative journey. It’s a time for self-reflection, personal growth and the cultivation of genuine happiness that comes from within. By embracing solitude, practicing self-love, building meaningful connections and setting personal goals, you can navigate the single life with confidence. Remember that being single is not a state of lack but an opportunity for fulfillment. Embrace your journey, focus on your well-being and fall in love with yourself!

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We offer a diverse range of individual counseling services and couples therapy. Our dedicated therapists can help with stress management, symptoms of depression, self-esteem challenges, and college student counseling. Additionally, we specialize in offering support for addressing body image concerns, and navigating the unique challenges faced by women, among other aspects. If you need support, reach out to connect with a therapist.

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