Congratulations on your new role as a mom! Whether you’re navigating those early sleepless nights or experiencing the joy of your baby’s first smile, motherhood is an incredible journey. But let’s get real: the life-changing journey isn’t all sunshine and excitement. Motherhood can also feel overwhelming and isolating. Your schedule shifts, priorities change, and suddenly, socializing looks completely different. There’s pressure to “do it all” (that’s a myth, by the way). These massive shifts in your life, and sometimes mental health, can feel lonely. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just know that many new moms experience this too.
Making new friends as a new mom can feel daunting, but it’s also one of the most rewarding things you can do for your well-being. Building your village can take time, but the connections you create will make the journey easier, more enjoyable, and a lot less lonely. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you get started on building your mom village.
1) It Requires Vulnerability
Get comfortable putting yourself out there. Making new friends as a new mom often means embracing vulnerability. It’s easy to fall into the trap of isolation, especially when you feel overwhelmed by the demands of caring for your baby or exhausted at the thought of putting on clothes and going out to socialize. We get it! Forming connections requires you to take the first step sometimes – whether it’s initiating a conversation or showing up to a mom meetup, even when you feel unsure.
Putting yourself out there may feel intimidating – it sounds so much easier to just wait for another mom to make the first mom-friend move! But it’s important to remember that many other moms are feeling the same way. They, too, are looking for friendship and support. Don’t be afraid to take small risks: like complimenting another mom at the park or sharing your experience at a baby class. These small acts of vulnerability can be the first step toward new, meaningful friendships.
2) Join Mom Groups & Local Communities
It’s time to dig up your Meta login from long ago. One of the most effective ways to meet other new moms is by joining virtual mom groups or other local community groups. These groups exist for a reason: they bring together people who are navigating similar experiences.
Look for local meetups, baby classes, or parenting groups in your area. Oftentimes, these groups are locally-run and free! Online platforms like Meta or Meetup also offer groups for moms looking to connect. Whether it’s a weekly playdate, a coffee meet-up, or a fitness class for new moms, consistent attendance at these events can help you build lasting connections with others who understand what you’re going through. Trust us: these groups create natural opportunities for friendship, since you already share a common bond – motherhood.
3) Don’t Forget About Existing Friends – Moms or Not
Making a totally new connection with a stranger can feel daunting. While we encourage your vulnerability, if you’re finding it difficult to form new bonds, lean into old friendships. Reconnecting with someone you already know can be a much easier and more natural way to find support. Do you have an old colleague or friend who you saw recently had a baby? Don’t shy away from sending them a DM or a text! Whether it turns into a lasting friendship or just a few short conversations, support and friendship can come in many forms.
Having friends who are going through the unknowns and firsts of motherhood can feel reassuring. Becoming a mom can feel like an entirely new world that non-moms might not relate to. But remember: just because you’re in a new phase of life, your existing friends were your friends for a reason before your baby’s birthday. Friends you had before becoming a mom can still be a valuable part of your village. They may not fully understand the experience of being a new mom, and they may have a totally different schedule than you, but they can offer emotional support, help with practical tasks, or simply provide a moment of escape. Fostering your existing friends can help you feel more grounded and remind you that your life hasn’t changed entirely – and neither have your social supports.
4) Give Friendships Time to Grow
Just like any relationship, friendships take time to develop. As a new mom, you may find yourself longing for instant connections, but it’s important to remember that deep, meaningful friendships often don’t happen overnight. Especially when all moms are adjusting to a new schedule and many new, huge responsibilities – it can be even harder to align or find time to see one another.
Be patient with the process. Some relationships may click right away, while others will take time to grow. Don’t get discouraged if a particular friendship doesn’t evolve as quickly as you’d hoped. Keep showing up to events, reaching out to people, and being open to all connections. The more you engage, the more natural the friendships will feel. As with any relationship, time, effort, and shared experiences are key to nurturing lasting friendships.
5) Each Village Looks Different – And That’s Okay
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to building your village. Every mom’s journey is unique and so is the support system she creates. Some moms might find their village through large mom groups, or maybe they live close to a lot of relatives, while others may build intimate circles with just a few close friends. Villages might include family, old friends, online connections, hired help, or a combination of all. There’s no right or wrong way to build your support network – what matters is that it feels supportive to you. Try not to compare yourself – embrace the fact that your village might look different from others, and that’s perfectly okay.
Your village doesn’t have to be big – it just has to be yours. And when you find the moms who get you, support you, and make this journey easier, you’ll realize that the effort was worth it. So, take that first step. Send the message, go to the playdate, say hi to another mom at the park. You never know—it might just be the start of a lifelong friendship.
Join our New Mom Group Therapy. A place where you can be honest about the highs and lows of motherhood without worrying about judgment. Because here, you don’t have to have it all figured out. This isn’t just another parenting group focused on milestones and sleep schedules. It’s about you. Your needs, your emotions, and your well-being. You deserve support, connection, and the chance to show up for yourself the way you show up for everyone else.
FIND CONFIDENCE AND NURTURE YOUR MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH IN MANHATTAN, BROOKLYN, OR NEW YORK
At Manhattan Wellness, we understand that this is a time of transition and adjustment. From adjusting to your new identity as a mom to navigating infant and postpartum care, it can be an overwhelming process. One that no one prepared you for. That’s why our female therapists want to support you in prioritizing your maternal mental health during the fourth trimester. Let us help you take care of yourself so you can feel confident in your new role as a mom. If you are interested in therapy for your maternal mental health:
- Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Learn More About Our Team and Our Areas of Expertise
- Prioritize Your Maternal Mental Health!
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES AT MANHATTAN WELLNESS IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER, BROOKLYN & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK
Our therapists understand that with becoming a new mother, there can be a variety of different needs that arise. Apart from helping you navigate the fourth trimester and maternal mental health, our therapists also offer a variety of services to cater to your individual needs. The therapy services we offer are Anxiety Treatment, Therapy for Depression, Stress Management, and Therapy for Women. As well as Therapy for Self-Esteem, support for, body image therapy, and so much more. Do you feel like you’re not living the life you want and need to make changes? Let’s talk about it.
