Mel Robbin’s, iconic self-made entrepreneur and writer of the #1 NY Times best selling book “The Let Them Theory”, explains that “when you love yourself, you glow from the inside.” It sounds so simple– love yourself and you will shine– but in reality, many of us find that self-love feels like more of an everyday roadblock than a natural state. Why is it that so many of us ask ourselves questions like “How do I look? Do I look bad?” or give self criticisms like “I feel fat. I don’t like the way I look.” Even when no one is judging us, our own inner critic never seems to rest. Millions of women around the world face challenges with self-esteem, body image, body dysmorphia, and difficulty recognizing their own self-worth. Psychologists have found self esteem often begins to form in early childhood. A child’s sense of worth is shaped by how they are spoken to, encouraged, and loved. When parents model self-acceptance and compassion, children internalize those values. But when parents struggle with their own self-worth, those insecurities can quietly pass from one generation to the next.
Self Love and Self-Esteem: Let’s break it down. While they are very closely connected terms, they are not quite the same. Self esteem is the emotional component– how you view yourself, your confidence, your worth and your abilities– while self-love is the reaction component to how you treat yourself regardless of self esteem. For example, when you feel like your self-esteem is low (ie; you don’t like your makeup, you feel like you aren’t good enough) the ability to give love to yourself lacks in ways you may not even be conscious of. However, the power of self love is in the small quiet moments when you choose patience and grace over criticism.
One of the things we work on in therapy sessions is to name the inner critic in us and recognize negative self talk. Negative self talk is the voice in our heads that says “I am not good enough”. Once you can identify that inner critic, you create space to respond with compassion instead of judgment. From there, you can start practicing small but powerful habits that nurture self-love, even on the days your confidence feels low.
Here are some unique ways to boost your self esteem and confidence to show up as the best version of you.
Speak to Yourself with Kindness
Every time you think of something negative about yourself, remember to be kind and use gentle language. Treat your body the way you deserve to be treated. You are the author of your own book and you know yourself better than anyone else. Notice that slip ups are normal. It’s ok to have days that we are harder on ourselves than others and that’s a given. But we must use the mistakes to learn from and change those negative thoughts to positive affirmations.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
Spend time with people who fill you up emotionally and mentally. Minimize those who embody negative feelings or emotions. Confidence in social situations can come with some pressures, anxieties and expectations. But if you surround yourself with the right people your authentic genuine self is more than enough.
Movement is Medicine
Have you ever felt in a rut, a bad mood, or just a little off and taken a walk only to find out you feel 10 times better after? That’s because when you move, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins act as mood boosters and help the body emotionally regulate. Next time you feel down, go for a walk outside, pop into a heated workout class, or listen to some meditative music with a good stretch. Reconnect with your body and thank it for everything it is doing for you.
Write in a Self-Love Journal
Sometimes as humans we bottle up our emotions and keep them locked up inside. Eventually, our body needs to release those emotions, thoughts and feelings in order to regulate. Check out Target, Amazon, or Staples for a cute little notebook or journal. Each day, write down one thought, feeling, or idea. Practice writing positive affirmations about yourself. Here are a few to try: “I am worthy. I am kind. I am enough. I deserve to be here.”
Do 1 Thing That Fills You Up Daily
Engage in hobbies, interests, and creative activities that make you feel good like an art class, gardening, or listening to music. Maybe get a manicure and take that hour to yourself to really relax. Or try a new coffee spot to start off your day. Taking care of yourself is one of the many ways you can show self-love.
Learning to practice self-love takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. Every time you notice your inner-critic set a boundary, celebrate a small win, and treat yourself with compassion. You are doing great. Self-love is nowhere near perfection but it’s rather showing up for yourself, especially on the harder days.
FEEL MORE CONFIDENT WITH THERAPY FOR WOMEN IN BROOKLYN & MANHATTAN, NEW YORK
At Manhattan Wellness, we understand that with all the messages we receive from the world, it can be difficult to maintain a positive narrative about ourselves. From social media, movies, and even people close to us, it can be hard to drown out the negative. So much so that our inner critic takes over and we forget to show ourselves the same compassion as others. That’s why our female therapists want to support you in building the confidence you need to reach your highest potential. Let us help you create an empowering narrative that will benefit all aspects of your life, from personal to professional. If you are interested in beginning counseling for women:
- Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
- Learn More About Our Team and Our Areas of Expertise
- Begin Seeing Yourself in a Whole New Light!
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK
At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Self-Esteem Counseling and Anxiety Treatment, along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it.
