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how to overcome your fear to feel

April 15, 2020

Through the human body flows plenty of emotions, some desirable and others undesirable. A person can go from happy to sad, excited to angry, and confident to fearful throughout a day. Feelings are inevitable; therefore, it is important to be able to express your feelings whether positive or negative in a healthy manner, rather than to ignore them. Hiding negative feelings is a temporary fix and will only delay a huge blow-up later down the line when those same feelings resurface. There is a cause for behavior and a reason for thoughts. Therefore, we must learn to face our fear to feel by confronting it and ultimately – overcome it.

First, Identify and Understand the Emotion

We may sub-consciously protect ourselves from negative feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger or jealousy by replacing it with a positive feeling. One must first understand that we have a right to feel. Just because the feeling is negative does not make it invalid or wrong. What’s wrong would be acting out inappropriately in excuse of the undesirable feeling. You would be doing a disservice to yourself by suppressing those negative emotions and allowing them to taunt you mentally or even manifest into a physical illness.

Ask yourself what you are feeling at the moment. Are there any other emotions attached that the feeling? What caused the feeling? Write down your answers in a journal, if necessary. Be real with yourself. Unpack your feelings, just don’t stay there.

Secondly, Express your feelings

Now that the feeling is identified, it can now be expressed in a healthy manner. A strong healthy person confronts their fear to feel, not hide it. Express these feelings with someone you trust like a close friend, mentor or counselor. They should welcome a non-judgmental environment and listen without criticism. If your negative feelings impact another person, speak to them about it. Refrain from acting out in rage to avoid more harm or confusion to the situation. Some people like to express their feelings in writing; such as a letter, poem or story writing which may be therapeutic and even offer some comfort.

Most importantly, give yourself grace and don’t be so hard on yourself. After all, you care enough to sort out uncomfortable emotions and welcome a safe place within to feel, heal and move forward.


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