The Top 5 Reasons Men Avoid Therapy (And Why It’s Time to Break the Stigma and Meet With A Therapist)

Therapy is one of the most effective ways to nurture mental health, offering clients the tools to cope with life’s challenges, process emotions, and journey through personal growth. However, while many have embraced the idea of therapy as a valuable resource, many men still face significant barriers when it comes to seeking help. Statistically, this demographic seems to avoid therapy due to a variety of reasons ranging from societal pressures, generational beliefs, personal experiences, lack of access to relevant resources, and more. However, it’s time to break the stigma. This post will explore the top five reported reasons why men say they avoid therapy and why it’s crucial to change the narrative.

Social Stigma

One of the primary reported reasons many men seem to avoid therapy is the social stigma associated with it. Unfortunately, in our current society there are still pockets of people that believe men seeking mental health treatment violates the male “responsibility” to be tough, stoic, or emotionally restrained. For them, therapy is the antithesis of this “ideal.” Some individuals internalize this belief and begin to fear that therapy signals weakness or an inability to “handle things on their own.” Therapy then becomes tied to a feeling of failure. 

The idea that therapy indicates something is “wrong” with a person is a myth. This outdated narrative is not only damaging but also untrue. Therapy is a tool for personal development and growth, not a direct reflection of someone’s worth or mental status. In reality, therapy is a sign of emotional intelligence, courage, and a commitment to self-improvement. By seeking therapy, you can showcase your strength in facing challenges head-on, and your wisdom in seeking support when needed. It’s time to redefine what strength truly entails: building emotional resilience and not suppressing feelings.

Difficulty Expressing Emotion, Gender Expectations, and Social Conditioning

From a young age, men are often taught by society to suppress their emotions and avoid vulnerability. Whether it was a trusted adult telling them to “man up” when they were upset, or watching other men on TV show “strength” by holding their tears in, the message is clear. This social conditioning instills the belief that emotions like sadness, fear, or frustration, are signs of weakness, and that “real men” should be able to “handle it” without showing their true feelings. This expectation leads to emotional suppression, and many men grow up believing that expressing emotions, especially in a therapy setting, is inappropriate or uncomfortable.

These gender expectations can create significant barriers when it comes to mental health. Men who struggle to express their emotions may internalize them, leading to increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and even anger. Further, suppressed emotions often manifest in unhealthy ways, such as relationship struggles or difficulty regulating intense feelings. Further, constantly repressing emotions may mean it becomes difficult to understand what you are truly feeling at any given moment. 

Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space where men can explore their feelings in a healthy way. It challenges harmful societal norms by allowing individuals to be vulnerable, express their emotions, and work through them with the guidance of a trained professional. Overall, it helps individuals break free from the constraints of outdated gender norms and develop emotional awareness, which can lead to greater mental well-being, confidence, and healthier relationships and interactions.

Generational Beliefs

Many men’s views on therapy are shaped by the beliefs of their elders or caretakers. Parents, grandparents, or other role models may have lived by the “suck it up” mentality, preaching that mental health struggles should be ignored, dismissed, or “toughed out.” For many men, this mindset is deeply ingrained, making it difficult to consider therapy as a valid solution to their problems.

Further, some older folks hold the belief that therapy is ineffective or unnecessary due to their own preconceived notions. They then curate households where mental health is not openly discussed, or therapy is seen as something to be avoided. As a result, mental health support becomes stigmatized, not just as a personal decision, but as an undesirable or futile effort.

It’s crucial to challenge these outdated beliefs. Therapy has evolved significantly, and modern approaches are grounded in evidence-based techniques that are proven to help individuals from all walks of life. By breaking the cycle of generational avoidance, men can create a healthier, more open approach to mental health for future generations.

Negative Experiences, or Lack of Experience

For some men, past experiences with therapy, or a complete lack thereof, can contribute to their reluctance to seek help. If an individual has previously attended therapy with a provider who they did not connect with, or who behaved unethically for any reason, they may be hesitant to try again. Additionally, if therapy was never discussed or normalized, they might not have a framework for understanding how therapy works or what to expect.

The fear of being judged or misunderstood is also a significant barrier. Opening up to a stranger about personal issues can be intimidating, and some people may feel too vulnerable or self-conscious in a therapy setting. This fear can prevent taking the first step toward seeking help. It’s essential to remember that not all therapists are the same. Therapy is a collaborative process, and finding the right therapist can make all the difference. If previous experiences were negative, that doesn’t mean therapy doesn’t work, it just means it’s worth trying again with a different approach. The right therapist will create a safe space where men feel heard, understood, and empowered to make meaningful changes. There are also resources that discuss what to expect in therapy sessions, and what different types of therapy can look like,  to make the process seem less alien to those who do not have direct experience. 

Lack of Access or Targeted Resources

Male-identifying individuals also report avoiding therapy due to a lack of easily accessible and male-targeted mental health resources. Many mental health ads and campaigns are geared toward women or families, which can make men feel that therapy isn’t for them. Additionally, finding a therapist who understands their unique needs or resonates with their experiences can be a daunting task. This means they may feel they do not know where to start, or that therapy is an inaccessible or irrelevant option for them.

There are many platforms and organizations today that offer therapy resources specifically tailored to men’s needs. From online therapy services to specialized clinicians, all individuals have more options than ever to find a therapist who fits their specific requirements. Everyone is encouraged to explore these resources and seek the support they deserve, no matter what their background or circumstances may be.

Overall, men in our society often face a variety of barriers when it comes to seeking therapy. These barriers range from social stigma and difficulty expressing emotions, to generational beliefs, past negative experiences, and lack of accessible resources. However, breaking the stigma surrounding mental health is essential for the well-being of men everywhere. Therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth, emotional regulation, and overall mental health, and it’s time to redefine what it means to be strong. By challenging outdated beliefs and taking the first step toward therapy, we can create a healthier, more supportive world for all people.

Looking for support in finding a therapist? Our incredible providers here at Manhattan Wellness are ready to start that journey with you. We understand that navigating this process may be difficult. With our amazing group of therapists, you don’t have to go through the process all on your own. A dedicated team working out of Manhattan, Brooklyn, or anywhere in New York, our clinicians are ready to help you start a journey of empowerment and self care. Follow these steps to get started:

1. Embark on this empowering path to a more confident you
2. Contact Manhattan Wellness today or email us at hello@manhattanwellness.org
3. Schedule your first appointment with one of our Manhattan therapists

OTHER THERAPY SERVICES OFFERED IN MANHATTAN, WESTCHESTER BROOKLYN, & THROUGHOUT NEW YORK

At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Self-Esteem Counseling and Anxiety Treatment, along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it.