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mw editorial

why you should stop telling people you’re “fine”

May 22, 2020

We all do it, probably multiple times a day. “How are you?”, someone asks us. “I’m fine,” we respond, automatically and mindlessly, without even thinking about it.


But are you really just “fine” in every single one of those interactions? Or are you ecstatic? Exhausted? Anxious? Hurt?  We tell everyone we’re “fine”, but moods and emotional states shift throughout the day. That’s normal and human. It would be impossible – and boring – to be just “fine” all day, every day, no matter what is going on in our lives. “Fine” isn’t a real emotion. It’s time for us all to embrace our humanity, get honest with ourselves, and take “I’m fine” out of our vocabulary.

Maybe one of the reasons why we brush things off with an “I’m fine” is because we don’t believe the person asking us truly cares how we really are. That’s totally fair. It’s true – the barista is probably just being polite.

Hands of two women sitting in a Brooklyn eating disorder group therapy session. Tools and strategies are available to help you recover.

And maybe another reason – the deeper reason – is because dismissing the question with a quick “I’m fine” allows us to get out of the sometimes uncomfortable experience of looking inward and examining our emotional state. It can be scary to really just be honest with ourselves, to take a minute out of our day to just check in with ourselves about how we’re really doing.


But this type of mindful self-reflection is essential to a whole and happy life. How can we live true to ourselves if we don’t even know how we’re really doing (and no, it’s not “just fine”) right here, in this moment? How can we know and understand ourselves deeply if we constantly dismiss our own feelings by sweeping them under the rug of “I’m fine”? When we give ourselves the gift of looking inward, we can identify and name our feelings: annoyed; furious; peaceful; joyful. We can come to know ourselves in a deeper way, and bring more consciousness to what makes us feel a certain way and why.

I challenge you try to take “I’m fine” out of your vocabulary. The next time someone asks you how you’re doing, don’t rob yourself of the opportunity to go deeper with yourself. No one can just be “fine” all day, every day. How are you really doing


The truth is, there’s no single or one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety treatment. Everyone has a different approach to managing anxiety and anxious thoughts. That is why it’s important to get clear on what works for you. Once you have a better understanding of yourself and your values, you can start designing your life based on the things that are most important to you. 

Therapy for women in Manhattan and Brooklyn is a great way to figure out how to manage your anxious mind. At Manhattan Wellness, we will provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and goals. So you can find clarity on what you want for yourself. We will pair your vulnerability with our empathy and encouragement. Then together we will uncover the key elements that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be. If you are ready to make the changes you want in your life:

  1. Submit a Contact Form or Email Us at
  2. Learn More About Our Team of Female Therapists and Our Areas of Expertise
  3. Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Feel Empowered & Ready To Take The Next Step. 

We believe that you have the power within yourself to make the changes you want and find your version of success. Our female therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey. Allowing you to reclaim your identity and take control of your life. Thus allowing you to create the future you’ve been dreaming of.


At Manhattan Wellness, our therapists are here to support you in navigating this journey and reclaiming your identity. So you can take control of your life and create the future you’ve been dreaming of. This is why we offer a variety of services to ensure you get the support, care, and guidance necessary. The therapy services we offer are Therapy for Maternal Mental Health, Self-Esteem Counseling, and Anxiety Treatment. Along with Dating/Relationship Counseling, Counseling for College Students, and more. Feel as if you are not living the life you deserve? Let’s talk about it.

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