Manhattan Wellness


Three-tier Dropdown Menu
Three-tier Dropdown Menu
Three-tier Dropdown Menu


Book Now


mw editorial

when avoidance blocks change

April 24, 2020

Brooklyn woman sitting on a stool in her apartment. Depression treatment can help.

Change, even for the best, can be scary. Sometimes we avoid positive change because the unknown can be daunting, and we are scared of making the wrong choice. Sometimes we avoid change because we get comfortable with our patterns, even if they are no longer serving us. The short term benefits of avoidance are that you can temporarily escape the discomfort of trying something new, but in the long term avoidance dis-inhibits growth and can make us feel “stuck.” If you avoid taking risks just because you’re scared, it may be holding you back.

Avoidance can feel very safe if we need to make a big change that we are scared to make, like changing jobs. It may feel comfortable to avoid at first, but in the long term you may miss a big opportunity. If you notice that you’re trying to escape temporary discomfort and sacrificing a long-term benefit, it may be time to address that discomfort head-on. 

Therapy is a great way to work through trauma and start living your best life in New York City.

Discomfort is usually an indicator that there is room for growth. If you get uncomfortable asking your co-worker to do their fair share, you may realize you have trouble with confrontation in other areas of your life. Really examining this discomfort and learning to sit in it will help you determine what patterns need breaking.

Sitting in discomfort sounds, well, uncomfortable, but the long term benefits outweigh the momentary escape.   If you’re feeling anxious about confronting a situation head-on you can also check the facts, and ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen, and so what if it does?” Often we get so wrapped up in our own heads we overemphasize the negative consequences, so it can be important to ground ourselves in reality before we move forward. Staying goal oriented and reminding yourself the discomfort is worth it will also help you put discomfort in its place. Discomfort is only temporary!

Women smiling on vacation. Yes, self-esteem can be improved.

Making a change is never easy, and avoidance is a coping skill that we all use from time to time, but it is important to notice when avoidance is really preventing us from living our lives fully. If avoidance is holding you back, it may be time to tackle your discomfort and take a risk. You may surprise yourself!


Ready to break free from negative thoughts and live the life you’ve always wanted? Start therapy for depression in Manhattan, Brooklyn, or anywhere in New York with Manhattan Wellness. Embrace a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Get support in creating empowering habits, using positive language, and appreciating your uniqueness. Follow these steps to get started:

  1. Contact Manhattan Wellness today or email us at
  2. Schedule your first appointment with one of our Manhattan therapists
  3. Embark on this empowering path to a confident, happier you


Our therapists recognize that discovering your “enough” is a journey. And it can become even more complex when the inner critic interferes, giving rise to additional challenges. We provide a range of services to ensure you receive the essential support, care, and guidance to achieve your goals. Our offerings include specialized support for women, anxiety treatment, and dating therapy. Along with services for college students, maternal mental health, body image therapy, and much more. If you feel dissatisfied with your current life and are seeking meaningful changes, let’s have a conversation about it.

Skip to content